Saturday, April 1, 2017

How can I help?

What do you do? When that quiet person in the corner, the little weird person who talks to them self, lives by themselves, and frankly you’re still not sure if either of you know each others name yet... What if your best friend comes to you and says they need to talk because everything is so bad.

With everyone, everything is different. I like people to sit with me and make sure I don’t hurt myself. I like people to laugh with me. I like people to hear me. Other than that I don’t know…OS lets think about it. 

For me, I talk about just about everything to everyone and meet once a week with the bestest I don’t work with. I do it because I don’t want to hold back something that could heal me, or  pehps I can spark something in someone else. But that’s me. I’m a story teller and a washed up actress; I still like the attention.

There are people, who although brave in many other ways are not able, for what ever reason, to approach life like you do, like I do, like other people take for granted. When I was in the city and had a birthday I begged a friend to go out to a coffee shop, she brought a friend and I was ever grateful that they took the time to listen and share with me. I was the strange awkward one, or at least that’s what it felt like.  I was so sure that in five more minutes I’d be ok and could repay them somehow in the future.

Today a layer of doubt fell away from me. I don’t consider myself pretty, because usually when I see a picture of me I’m making a face, my hair is a mess and my cloths don’t match. I looked at “girls’ night” picture from like 2011 or something. People thought I was drunk, but soaked back the cranberry juice all night. I made faces into the camera and laughed like a crazy person. I looked at that picture a few weeks ago and thought, I’m funny, I’m theatrical and I’m strange, and I come from a long line of talking to strangers.

So today in the store I sang to my groceries and talked to the girl in the check out line behind me about our cats. (She thought I was Nucking Futs.) But this is who I am supposed to be right now; Happy, I guess.

What do you need right now to smile? How can I help?

1 comment:

  1. I find it encouraging every time I read your Blog. Katherine