I had to stop peaking at facebook today. I don’t read the newspaper or listen to the radio or have a tv but I’d probably cancel my “prescription” if I did. The world got to much for me to handle, there were marches over basic human rights and angry people and sad people and people not being treated like people.
SO I sat and cried last night. And today I took myself off facebook, I didn’t cancel my account or anything crazy, but I’m cutting back on coffee (again) and stopping the influx of news from the states.
There’s a pull right now, to stay informed vs stay sane. To be there to help people, and take care of myself, I’ve had one anxiety/exhaustion attack this week and a cry fit last night.
Which means I also have to watch what I’m eating again because something could be sneaking in there.
Anyway, this morning I took my journal to the “Laundry Basket” where I do my laundry and wrote for an hour. I never write in my journal there, I usually end up watching the laundry go around or an episode of criminal minds, I enjoy the watching the laundry more than the TV.
I soon started to smile and laugh to myself. I was writing myself little jokes and laughing inside. I may not be doing improve or acting funny all the time but when push comes to push I can still make myself laugh. It’s not easy to do right now, what is happening next door is affecting real people and isn’t funny.
But I’m still here whispering in my ear taking up the funny.
With a little bit of writing and resting I feel better, and ready to take on the week ahead. Ready to admit openly when something doesn’t work for me and ready to bow out of conversations I would love to take part in but would leave me empty inside.