Thursday, December 15, 2016

And the page turns

 Frosty 2011
Carla asked me today why “all of a sudden” I wanted to do this.

I sit on my butt for 8 hours a day, then sit on my butt to sing, and then to write in the morning and in the evening. I’m not young I’m forty and walking to and from work doesn’t seem to be enough to keep me in shape. I’ve always been active until the last couple years. I set up ball rooms at the hotel and was on my feet all day with catering as well. I used to say you’d never see me at a call centre. But here I am. 

I’ve always put being active and starving myself first until I started getting very emotional after I did physical activity and put my singing and mental health first. I got fat but I was happy. I eat the food I want to and am happy. But I’m used to being in shape; skipping down the hall and jumping up and down when I’m excited and not being out of breath or having me wonder if the people around me are wondering what the fat lady is doing. I weighed 225 the last time I was weighed at the Dr’s. She didn’t say anything about it but she could have.

I’m frightened but excited. I know how I learn and how out of shape I am and that there is not an inkling of a desire to want to do a burpee. I firmly believe that I will need to be tricked in physical fitness. And nutrition.

I don’t want to be hungry, sore, overwhelmed and cranky. That being said I’m dedicated and work really hard at what I want to achieve. I write and sing almost every day. And love knowing that I’m getting better and stronger.

My current revolving goal is to be able to run the centennial trail route I did a few years ago and Carla wants me to do boot camp in February. I don’t need to be 130 Again but I need to be healthy and happy.

I need to watch my diet a little more carefully.
I like stretching and music.
I want to know what an hour with you would be like
I want to know how much you can help with my diet.
I want to know what you are like as a trainer.
I want to know if twice a month will work; I don’t have much money
I want to know if there are things I can do at my creaky old house
What do I need for cloths Where do I get them?
Are you going to make me drink 8 bottles of water a day and eat lentils?
What happens if I lose my shit and have an emotional day?
I’m on a shit load of anti depressants does that matter?
I need to eat three times a day with protein or I get cranky.
Lettuce hurts my soul
No dairy no gluten nothing that walks on land.
Currently corn chips and pasta; fried eggs and salmon and frozen broccoli
I’m hoping that being fit will make my singing voice better too
Oh hummus, stir fry in a bag and hot sauce too
I have two hours free in the evening what’s the best activities for working out
I’ve always had an issue with food and being skinny. I want to do it right this time. It doesn’t have to come off fast I want to be set on a path of maintenance and strength and endurance.
I have no idea how to get back into shape after being this out of shape.

Part of me feels like it’s impossible But I did get my voice back… maybe just maybe  

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