That’s what I’m facing right now, that’s what the family is facing and so my medicine is that I sit and write a fictional story about it and work things out.
The other dream I’m working with is a person who faked her death and is living as a stripper far away from where she started. I haven’t figured out the meaning of that dream yet but man it was powerful, and has stuck with me, and left me with feelings and a story.
My nana banana is in the hospital, she has come back to btown to live out her final days, last week it was all about her and being there for her, but there was no singing and no writing. And I can’t lose my singing again, as I say it, it doesn’t sound fair to pick my voice over my nana, especially because I’m no virtuoso, at the same time I need to spend time with my cats and myself and things that keep me feeling healthy.
Tini missed me so much last week (Izzy is happy in her cat bed, in the porch, in day light, whether I am home or not). And so far this week Tini just wants to go outside. I need to talk about my cats because Nana Banana doesn’t like to talk about cats and says “meow meow meow; go home to your cats.”
I took ½ a day off today to pull my mind around all that was going on. There’s a lot to figure out and come to grips with a lot of emotional turmoil that I sooth with singing and grow stronger with by writing and dreaming and writing some more.