Monday, February 8, 2016

Normal Folks

SO i Watched this killer on Criminal Minds. The last time I watched criminal minds was in their first season? When the guy made Wind Chimes out of killed peoples bones. I can watch just about anything, Zero Dark Thirty, Eastern Promises, but the way this show twists it's plots-- well I don't watch tv at all. let alone this show, and Criminal Minds is when I realized I couldn't trust tv any more.

But, as the story goes, I was at the laundry mat, and happened to get there in time to catch the killer and her fantasy's.

She's depressed and makes up fantasy about men and kills women who she sees as threats. And as is the case when I see a show about depression or psychotic people, I connect. Now I'm no Dana Seavers and have control over my imagination and in some sense my depression and am well medicated for both, although the Dr thought it would be fun to lower the anti psychotic. I objected, and I know I did the right thing. (Remember to stand up for yourselves)

But the fantasies, I guess now I need some back ground in what a natural fantasy is vs what is not. If I like a boy or think he likes me I have huge fantasies and dreams but a relationship never happens it's all in my mind, it's great (and no one dies,) but there's great disappointment when I find he's with someone or I find out what he's really like.

I just thought this is what all woman do, have fantasies, there was nothing like this in any depression, multiple personalty, abused woman etc. etc. Literature.
I also don't believe he's there with me, i know when we talk to each other it's in my mind, but, man, I'm really invested in these imaginary relationships. Why does no Dr ask me these questions, am I supposed to know to bring it up? No obviously i didn't, or I would have been a little more concerned and understanding of what my imagination does. I have a dr's appointment next month SO...

Have a good nite normal folks.

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