Saturday, January 16, 2016

The promise

There was an add for a basement apartment on face book today. Reasonable price for the city it was a hundred and thirty more than I pay, BUT heat was included, it said quiet and clean so there are probably no pets allowed. But with dreams of me going to the city every night I took a second look (and a third look to write this.)

I died in the city; I had my heart broken I was so in love with life and the people that were in it with me that when it became real, all the pain was too much, and anytime I tried to get it back, between the catering and the houseman work it all fell apart. SO I moved home. I stopped singing every day, I stopped singing at all and I see this advertisement for a basement apartment and it's like a date with an old lover. 

Come give us a try we've both changed so much...

“...Come see nights of zuppa circus and jazz festivals and live music any night of the week, not just once a month. Be around the creative people, live creative, make it work this time.

But there's a logic, that says I can't be in love with the same lifestyle I had when I was twenty, it burnt me out caused me to sleep all the hours I wasn't working.

Here I am in Duncanville, in B town, trying to write stories and poems and novels, and moving to the city isn't going to make me write more. Here I am in Duncanville with cats a 9-5 job and singing lessons and a great group of friends. That's something to hold strong to, and not run away from, to not get scared and run away from.

You can say that in a way I have collected little pieces of that theatre dream and pulled out what I wanted, what makes me well, and at 40 I write and nap in tandem and sing every day and have little opportunities to sing in public.

I was reading David Ushers book today “let the elephants run” And he said If you're not embarrassed by your first time (inventing, creating a business, being creative etc) you've waited to late and I'm reminded of how true that is from my open Mic experience
“I tried too soon.”

No David Usher says “you did it right on time” and I bet it will be a little embarrassing at first but I'll soon get it.

So I wrap up that little invitation with a kiss, a cute little basement apartment in a city that no longer makes movies, I can make music and stories in my little hovel in b town, in ducanville. Another day, another page, another song.

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