Monday, October 12, 2015

Little Prayers

Perhaps it' time to stop living alone, doing it all on my own. Perhaps it's time to partner up.

I can't stay here in this world of tumble weeds and dust devils it's time to keep moving.

I hear you worship your deities and worship is different than mine.

I've heard you sing to your deity but you must not hear me when I pray to, as all the strings to my harp are broken.

I have learned to pray to my own deity using my own voice and my own words maybe as humans we need something greater than us to talk to to ask questions to to wait for a response in the flicker of tree leaves in the voice of the wind

Perhaps I too need a god to ask questions to, questions that are greater than myself. I use my own words and my own voice and wait for the gods response in the flicker of the tree leaves, in the whisper of the wind.

I'm fascinated by people who want to do things for other people I do something for other people and I get hurt and I get tired that's why I don't have a god I don't want to so something for someone else. But today I ask what does my god want me to do?

A world of the deities unravel around me some have been written before some have yet to be found some gods live on stars some on hope and some in my heart. I have to listen even closer, writing and singing and meditation is my prayer.

Perhaps I needed to calm the fuck down.

There's a line in the universe that god puts you on when you believe. I don't want to hurt so i deny success and keep going on a path that is devoid of magic, despite the magic I believe in.

How do you know when you get lost in the forest and just go around in circles? It's time to sit down and let the gods catch up to me.

There is a god like a husband an equal we both know different things on my path I confuse looking for a husband for looking for a god for I am without both and think I can combine the two but to make a husband a god and a god a husband makes the world stop turning for a while. I see too much in a god and not enough in a husband and I can only know these things when I sit down to write it can only be real when I write it.

I need to wear a red robe and let the saints find me and rescue me and bring me back to life .

Sunday, October 4, 2015

Blue Soup

The witch stood by the fire and stirred the contents of her pot. She was a witch because of what she could see in that pot as she stirred. The pot of full of visions happening sights sounds feelings. Today she stirred a pot of blue soup. You don't eat blue soup you just stir it and hum songs you learned as a child. Inside the blue soup, was a man struggling to lift heavy objects on his own. The neighbour went out and asked if he needed help. He laughed.

The witch stood by her fire and stirred the contents of her pot. Tonight she was hungry and was making split pea soup. It smelled delicious. Just the right amount of herbs and the broth was just salty enough to balance out the vegetables. Do you need help with that asked the man? And the sound of his own laughter came through the soup.

That laughter sounds mean, he said
That's how you laughed at me when I asked you for help.
But this is different.

Is it?

Thursday, October 1, 2015

differenting the person with a pill

I haven't written much over the last couple weeks. I haven't posted anything much either. You see the person I got my prescriptions from decided I needed a review of my medication, upping the prozac and slimming down the abilify.
Like any changing of medication like this, it has it moments of complete exhaustion and complete confusion.
I sat down to write last night and used the whole hour to look at facebook. That was all my brain could do. Today I can write little things at work, and tonight I'm just taking stock of where I am, and tryng not be frustrated. This stuff changes the way I am, makes me a different person, for better or for worse.

I hope it works out for the best.