Sunday, June 14, 2015
My Mind Is O K
See my mind is ok. I can hear the people say that I should be dead, that I should have the right to choose. I can dream that in a few minutes I'll be 10 again and able to stand up and toss a ball to my loved one.
I can't even sit up without coughing. I heard a lady say earlier that it looked like my eyes had sunk into my head, I don't know. Where are all the mirrors.
My family told the Dr. I should have my own room. Privacy. He said "don't worry I'll take care of it," that was 10 am this morning. I'm sitting out in the hall.
I remember the day I was 14 and didn't think I was beautiful enough. And the day at 60 I decided I was beautiful enough for this world. I cried for all the years that passed in between.
You see my mind is ok. I can remember being the valedictorian. I remember running cross country and being the lead in the play and being a mother a grand mother. I remember falling in love and getting married.
I remember the day I couldn't get out of bed on my own. I stopped worrying about whether or not I was pretty enough.
My family told the Dr. I should have my own room. They brought me slippers and placed food in front of me. The nurses said feeding me was a waste of solid food and sighed when they took the left overs away.
Apple juice I wanted apple juice.
But I couldn't speak.
All I ask is that in my final days, final moments you treat me with dignity and sanity and know that even though I can't speak; I still have feelings.
You see my mind is ok.