Sunday, March 15, 2015

The Glenn Gould Papers

Is not a thing that makes me happy, a something that makes me smile, as good as something I can hold in my hands? A tune I recognize and can talk about? a tiny bit of laughter? Something that spruces up the heart and makes me smile, as good as a written poem. Does everything have to be justified with a piece of writing to prove it was real? Can experience remain in the heart until it is ready to be shared?

I don't have to fight that piece of darkness anymore.

I will follow my heart in combination with my knowledge. I will follow my heart and my knowledge because I am strong enough to do it and I know what I can accomplish and I know that the universe will present something that I can do. I will not dig myself into a deep hole when the universe offers me something; I will not be in trouble. How would I be in trouble? I thought that if I went to "the workshop" the world would end because I would need to rearrange everything. Next time I need to do the rearranging.

I can listen to the universe and my heart in combination, it won't take me places I can't handle. I am healthy enough to push through what ever happens next year I will be able to do it.

I don't think I need this hurting, this fear that I've discovered to go on any further. I can grow from it and release it. In my heart I will listen to more music that I love that doesn't just haunt the back groud but that comes forward and demand I listen. There is a part of me that needs to come forward and demand I listen.

I can listen to hours of music and not feel guilty that I have nothing to show for it. I can read hours about music and not feel guilty that its not a fantasy story or something that will improve my writing, my music is just as important to me and my heart.

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