Friday, January 30, 2015

Life Breathes

Life breathes. The silence breathes. I try to hold my breath through winter. I learn I need to swim through the flurries and the freezing rain.

Just five more minutes, has led to 40 years of I'll be ok. Just five more minutes and I'll be living my life, just five more minutes and I'll wake up, just five more minutes and I'll be successful. I'll have the life that I want, I won't struggle and cry at what I don't have.

I breathe through the snow for five more minutes. I write through the silence to make myself stronger and be my best friend, so I'll know my heart will never break. While my heart breaks everyday. But I do, I do love myself

Love breathes. Every five minutes we come up for air. The snow covered heart, the lungs full of freezing rain, I have survived the first months of winter. I move forward, I move on.

Life yearns in thirst. The thirsts of winter is different than that of summer. Winter bodies have a need for coffee, hot chocolate, and toddies. The thirst for water, the need to quench, is left behind.

Life cries. I yearn for a world, a magic world, where babies don't die in the womb. The woman doesn't die at the hand of their husband. The love that people have plays like a record. Sadness is a lesson not a death. People, like me, aren't afraid of five more minutes.

Life smiles. The sun melts the snow on the pavement. I don't fall on hidden ice. Day comes to light. I hear music, each sweet note, I've spent the last year learning. Each song as it should be through my lungs and out into the world. There is sound and light.

I am told I could do it, that I'm good at it; Sure I can do it... but do I want to.

Decisions and breaths lead me into the next moment and I am me. The pen and paper haunts my present. My dreams haunt places of the past and I am seen talking to old friends and playing old pianos. Peeking from behind door ways of past lives.

The eyes flicker and open. Just ten more minutes, just one more day, let me see what happens. Next, let me put plans into place, make a promise that was made 20 years ago, to myself.

1 comment: