So I was meditating and my main train of thought was Why my novel seems to be stalled after some outlines and some free falls
Well, I thought, I’m just not good enough, there’s still more to learn, I can’t possibly think I’m good enough to write a novel.
What about other things like singing for people, I asked
Well I’m certainly not a good enough singer to sing in front of people and take myself seriously there’s still a lot I don’t know; people would laugh at me and say ‘even a child knows to do such and such.’
And although when I sit and put pen to paper I don’t physically think this, I’ve heard myself the last couple days focusing on the fact that I’m not very good at stuff and people should know, I know, I’m not very good.
Oh my brain
And then I smack myself (not really but sort of) and do something right. Sing High when the piano plays low learn a song I’ve never heard before take a class and achieve what the teacher asks, like a sonnet in 20 minutes.
SO what have I learned this long weekend? I will continue to remind myself I’m pretty awesome. That I can do what I put my mind to and in the true fashion of Frostyness, when I make a mistake, and need help to fix it, I say:
I’m awesome but I need some help.
So I still may not know what counterpoint is and cannot tell you all the symbolism in Jane Eyre. But I’m going to keep writing and singing.
And I’ll google counterpoint.