Saturday, September 7, 2013

Sweet Lovers

But nature tells us how to live; To wash in the rain, to follow the sun like a flower, to mate when we find love, to touch, to heal. Yet I come here on the river to be alone, to not be touched, to hold everything in so the happiness doesn’t fall apart.

When I was at the hotel, as I found out now, I read books that said focus on the happy, let in the light, let in the good. But I never learned what to do with the bad, and so I buried it under light and mud. I’m proud that I made myself happy, but in the meantime there is all this darkness weighing me down, that separates me from everyone, except those who know how to step inside, and when they step inside, they see it’s a mess.

This is the time in my journey to make myself happy, not by covering over the darkness, but by facing the darkness and letting me see the light in it. I have yet to find guidance leading me deep into unravel the darkness. So I shall take my sword and enter the forest…

The Pills cover it over, the “I love everything” I speak of, puts all reality in denial. For a while I may not be able to see the silver linings in everything. I may have to look at the pain in things. I may have to let out the tears. Let out the anger.

Why face it all when I’m so happy on the outside? Because it’s exhausting and it’s causing a block in me moving forward, me falling in love, me being healthy.
Sweet Lovers
The flowers grow
In your path
Where feet follow feet
Sweet lovers
The red dahlia
Flower, like drops
Of pin pricked blood
Sweet lovers
The fire in the petals
Reach up like candles
In meditation
Sweet lovers
Hold hands
Over the garden
And talk of children and marriage
Sweet Lovers
The grass covers your feet
The stable ground
Your resting heads
Sweet lovers
Follow your feet
Through the garden
And into the home you’ve built

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