Sunday, February 10, 2013

You'll Be Blessed


I’m currently reading Farley Mowat’s “Otherwise” I love the title. He is so clear in talking about his childhood and his imagination. I am inspired by at least one line or one paragraph on the page.

 

My apartment, my dream apartment is cold; so cold the fridge stops running unless I turn on the heat in the kitchen. And I don’t care because it’s still my dream apartment. I now have a kitchen table to let people sit at and eat when they come to visit, rather than have them sit on the couch and have Tini stick her face in their salad while they sit on the couch. All tables in my house are used for writing.

 I was completely inspired by a day off I had last week when I made colourful food and had a wonderful weekend that included photographs naps and reading a crappy book.

 If people feel about human relationships and babies like I feel about my cats then let them meet up and procreate. I’m not good with people like I am with cats. But having the cats is giving me a grounding in emotions: I’m not needing something, wanting something, missing something. I’m more whole and that makes me stronger with myself and others.

 I get hit with memories from the past and I wonder if in ten years time I’ll remember this. Will it break my heart? Will it make me strong?

 I had a sad, a depression sad on Tuesday and I sat down with the kitties and after a half an hour I was better and didn’t sink into a full depression. Could I have cured some of my depression in the city if I had had pets? Or did I need the full life lesson to get to this point?


I had a dream about my boss the mean one who tried twice to have my fired. I understand some of the reasons why, but those are only guesses, and I usually feel guilty and not perfect and often confused when I think about those days. SO I did something last night after a bottle of Strongbow during a huge winter storm. I gave it up, I passed the confusion the hate the distrust back to him, I said he could have it now, I didn’t need to be affected by him ten years later. Especially when my current boss and job doesn’t work like that and I’m not that person anymore.


 

I feel blessed by the universe with what I have at this very moment.

 

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