I feel like I’m being watched, touched, examined, like everything I do is being studied. It’s a grand lesson in how to be me. To me life is not real, unless something is learned. For many years my resolution has been to learn to love myself and every year I get here and I don’t know love. I’ve learned lot of lessons but I don’t know love. This year I’m going to love myself, I’ve spent 30 cough years “learning” how to do it. This year I’m going to love.
I want Milford to be “finished” this year, I want to tell the story for world storytelling day and I would like to edit it enough to share with people as a story rather than a work in progress. This year will be about editing the pieces that I already have (and creating new ideas) I was listening to a jesse cook piece and thought every note is right where it’s supposed to be and that’s how I need to see my writing every word every picture right where it’s supposed to be, the feeling of this song is how I want my editing to go.
I want to do one hour of writing everyday but I also need to spend time relaxing. Last night I had Nachos a Strongbow and watched a movie and feel absolutely alive today. I have to still have date nights with myself even though I’m at home every night with myself. I also learned that I like watching movies at home rather than in the theatre, this after a bad experience watching the hobbit in the theatre and great experiences in my house American Tail the way I wanted to.
In retrospect: I have a new apartment (a very cold apartment.) I have two writing desks in my apartment and no more excuses not to write. My job although having the same title has changed in how it’s completed. I’ve decided to stay in B town a bit longer and I have a cat. That’s been the greatest change. To go from longing to have a cat to taking care of a cat; it’s all new. This New Year.