A few years ago, after doing night shift at a hotel and living in a crappy apartment I couldn’t afford and being very sick I moved home. I didn’t know what I wanted except to either die or get well, nothing in between. I’ve been in between for a long time and I’m ok with it and life is getting better.
A few months ago I gave my writing to a friend and she asked two or three times how she should read it. What kind of feedback I wanted.
A few days ago a friend said: “Frosty does it differently, what takes most people five minutes to figure out she has to ‘process’”. Well after a month and six pages of journal this morning I know I need a mentor, someone to point my in the right direction and talk to me about writing. And I have to ask for it, I just can’t look puppy eyed at the people around me and hope it happens.
A few hours ago I met up with a friend in the mall. We were waiting for the stores to be open. Last night I did a whole bunch of research on the romantic period in writing and I organized all the romantics on my bookshelf. I wanted to talk to him about it but I was afraid he’d think I was strange because it’s so not a B’town thing to do, so I was quiet. Does this make me seem distant different like I’m keeping something from people, am I not being real?
A few minutes ago I decided there are words that I want to know how to use. The romantics wrote about apprehension. Think about it, how does one include that in their writing? Use it? Do you write about it or do you weave it into your writing. Or does it just show up there?
I just picked up Moby Dick and looked for apprehension in Melville’s writing. I’m on an apprehensive mission.