Sunday, January 29, 2012
The id is the unorganized part of the personality structure which contains the basic drives. The id acts according to the "pleasure principle", seeking to avoid pain or displeasure aroused by increases in instinctual tension. Rycroft, Charles (1968). A Critical Dictionary of Psychoanalysis. Basic Books.
I had to gain my quote from Wikipedia, as with the 300 or so books to my collection I have no Freud or Jung... note to self get more Freud and Jung. I’ve been running on the power of my id, encouraging my child like fantasies, like moving to the city and start doing theatre and travel and fall romantically in love without putting any effort in it. Having all the pieces fall into place and create a great script a great story and people will see I'm great. Without any pain.
I had notes in my journal this week that I wanted to see more of my province I wanted to work on creative writing projects again. The journal said look in the backyard. My body is telling me I'm not happy something isn't right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
Today I was part of an amazing meeting for world story teller’s day. The ladies planned everything down to the minutest detail, and I watched and learned. It was fascinating. And I said, this is real this is what I need to put my energy into, not the fantasies. This is something worth working for.
As a participant I will create and tell stories and we have different places to go, one place called Aspotogan, I have never heard of before. So I’m getting to visit and be creative. This is real, this is something for me something to hold on to.
Today I talked to a dietitian about food and I cried, and I realized I was being myself, I was the girl who was tired and worn out even though the food she was suggesting was supposed to give us more energy, I was weak and worn out. I couldn't say this is great, I was honest I was me I let her see into a bit of the person who struggles daily, with food.