Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I Am a Success

Today’s mantra is “I am a Success.”

This morning in my journal I was inspired by a meditation I did over the weekend and said go deeper-- write about more than how good breakfast is (and breakfast was good).

I usually feel like a failure, people will point it out for me to think positive #1 said “My best friend is not ugly you take that back.” A new friend said “Don’t say you ‘just’ take photos and curl your nose up like that.” And friends that I went to university with are doing great things, getting projects mentioned by Hilary Clinton, arguing with Bruce Willis traveling around the country and the world. I always feel a little down when I say I work at a call centre.

I felt a little better when the temporary site manager said the QA’s should be proud of the quality of the calls that the company is achieving, that made me feel a little better. I feel like a failure when I look at couples and wonder what I don’t have, what I’m missing. A co worker said he was thinking about asking me to help with a show (that’s right he never really did, just thought about it) and I was going to say, I don’t think I’m that good any more… How is this sucking my energy? As I was writing all this down this morning I was shocked that I thought of myself as a failure, on such a scale.

Before the meditation on Saturday my friend said “I am Love.” “Of course you are” I said… but it was hard for her to believe it. I wondered what was hard for me to believe. The girls and I went out to see “New Years Eve” this weekend and the only good part of the movie is when Josh Duhamel stands up and says “What would you do tomorrow if you knew you wouldn’t fail? Now do it.” If I went out and did what I wanted I would be a success. I am a success.

I’m not comfortable with “I’m good enough,” because I always want to be learning and changing. But “I am a success” opens me up and lets in the light.

It makes me feel presumptuous that I could say that to the world. I am a success as I am. I can spend the day being a success and succeeding at the things I try. This is fun. Say it loud “I am a success.”

1 comment:

  1. There is a theory in sociology called the looking glass self. This spawned other theories but at its essence it postulated that if you act in a certain way for a long enough period you eventually will become that person. Data also showed that most people will take your dramaturgical self at face value and will accept the roles you portray. So if you act as want to become others will accept that mostly and you will eventually actually become that thing.