Friday, November 4, 2011

Working on the inside this week

There’s no welcome sign

On the front door

A small apartment

A mattress on the floor

I was afraid of missing the bus

Afraid I wouldn’t get to school

That mattress is by the bus stop

As an adult its stopping is cruel

No late night secrets

No dinner dates

There’s nothing till bedtime

I sit and I wait

There’s a couple in the rain

Button each other’s coats

I lace my own shoes

Paddle my own boat

And now there are whispers

Permission is given

To hold on to these values

And let the hate go to heaven

I understood those people

Wouldn’t like me at all

So I pushed them away

Made them the ones to fall

The comedian says she’s ugly

The boring fat wife

And I pray to lose weight

Cut away fat with a knife

I save myself

But there’s a lot of darkness

Inside this heart

Inside this mind

But I’ve made it this far

And I laughed with a new friend

Put myself out there

Say I’m not that bad.

There are two levels

The part that you know

Says you’re beautiful

And there’s another part

That takes more work to believe it

But I’m getting there…

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