Monday, June 13, 2011

Carl Lewis

Carl Lewis By Annie Leibovitz

I was curled up on my couch yesterday, covered in my black lab puppy blanket still reading Annie’s book. She was talking about meeting Carl Lewis and that he was in an amazing place mentally before the Olympic, she also said he will never be in that place again. With depression I worry a lot about where I am mentally and have moments where everything comes together and I think now that I’ve achieved it I can keep it up every day forever, I want to strive for that, to be as mentally strong as possible and be as centered as possible but I can’t get so hard on myself when I can’t do it every second of every day. And it’s not a failure to achieve it for a few hours or a day and not be able to get back to that spot for a while.

I did something I’ve never given myself permission to do. I downloaded some really easy reading on my e reader I would never pay money for this stuff; well two books cost 1.10 and the rest were free, and when I wasn’t reading Annie I was reading this. It was so bad I was editing it as I went along. But it wasn’t intense it didn’t give me night mares and didn’t stress me out.

Like Carl Lewis I’m not going to read easy books forever and ever and never finish Blood Meridian or Silence of the Lambs but what a treat to read something that wasn’t perfect and didn’t challenge me to the max.

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