Saturday, February 5, 2011

What 10 Bucks Could Buy in B'town Today



I’ve slowed down the blog writing. I’m taking a look at how I want to continue. January the 31 2010 was the first blog I posted. Blogging, both reading and writing, has made me stronger, braver and more connected. I have reached out to those around me and people I will never meet face to face. The comments I’ve received have made me smile and think, they have made what I’ve said and done real.

I would read a strangers blog and realize I felt too, maybe not like that but it led to a an Ah Ha moment. Writing a thought and sharing it meant that I was aware of it and started to share with friends. I was taking baby steps with emotions; taking a step, wobbling, and taking another step.

In the last couple months what would have been blogs have been turned into letters sent off to friends, too intricate to be shared, pieces of stories that involve names and reoccurring themes. This led to another event.

Under Dr’s advice I’m changing my medication around. Tonight I’m weighted and heavy and in between worlds. My job and my friendships and my health were at stake. I would have loved another option, a list, but right now there wasn’t one. I wanted him to say these were steps into learning how to live with emotions, but mine were too much.

In the past week the way I feel, and the way I feel about a lot of things has changed. There are no more sweeping goals or intricate fantasies. In a trade I’ve loved the piano and have read my books with great focus. I’m grounded and content.

I want to keep writing in the blog; it just may look and sound different and may not be as much. Or maybe in a month or two everything will fall into place again. I feel like I'll be struggling with my voice a bit.

Today the world is very different from January the 31 2010.

3 comments:

  1. Change. We all face things in life that are difficult. My thoughts are with you.

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  2. "I feel like I'll be struggling with my voice a bit." . . .

    That is good for you! Can be scary, but cathartic and then hopefully renewing. I hope you stick with blogging, in whatever form, after whatever changes.

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  3. I'm stckin with it, just may morph a bit into something different. Thanks for sharing your words give me strength.

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