Tuesday, January 4, 2011
We Haven't Failed in Letting Go...
7 women work in a room the size of my one bedroom apartment living room. The window doesn’t open and there is no air conditioning. Everyone is hot by the end of the day; everyone except me. I’m putting on sweaters on over my sweaters and shaking.
My mom and sister have both looked at me at different times and said “you’re shaking.” Once I had an honest excuse for it; 2 coffees and by two o’clock the last solid food was an orange at 10. I was waiting to eat dinner at home.
I can walk around the house without the heater on and have no problem going outside when it’s -20 with a wind chill to go for a jog or get groceries.
Last night the girls and I went to see The Fighter. By the last fight #1 was out of her seat, 1.5 was sitting there glued to the screen and I started to get cold and shiver, I was fine for two hours, but by the end of the movie I was wrapped up in the action and I was feeling anxious waiting for the end.
I’m sitting here alone, in my apartment and I’m fine. There are a ton of things I’d like to be doing at once, but I’m not cold and shaking.
Shakiness or trembling is a side effect of one of the drugs I’m on, but it’s very rare, even rarer is anxiety.
So I need to learn how to make it through a day at work without the anxiety. All my plans may have to be put to the side for a moment to work on this. I have a book on my shelf about anxiey and the internet to ramble through.
... We've Become Stronger