Saturday, January 15, 2011

Hello Eyes



I joined the photo club to learn to take better photos yes, but also because I felt safe with and like the people. I was ready to step outside of work and meet other people.

I don’t like to leave my apartment very much. When I go grocery shopping, I put the hat on my head, turn up the shuffle and focus on one thing: getting in and getting out of the mall as fast as I can, well, maybe with a stop at the bookstore and a look at the shiny objects. There is no time for eye contact.

Today at 11:30 I had a one hour meeting at the bank to help me in my New Year’s resolution of managing money. I thought it would last about 15 minutes so I was without coffee or dinner. I had already decided to get the basics from the grocery store, the things I get every week, broccoli, cauliflower, oranges etc.

I sigh at the people who stare at the isles as if somehow they’ve changed since the last time, as if there’s going to be something between the canned carrots and the peas that was never there before, or perhaps they haven’t written out ingredient by ingredient what they will be eating this week.

I wince as old friends make a dead stop between the dairy and the juice and I get stuck on the dairy side… just one small step and juice would be mine.

I rounded the corner, toward the organics and gluten frees listening to whatever was playing on my shuffle, funny I don’t remember the song. But I looked up confused and there were hello eyes and friendly waving from the president of the Photo Club. I was stunned, I didn’t know what to do, so I waved back, and I think I said “hi” and we went on.

In another isle were two girls that I worked with so I said “hi” to them. I guess if I want to open myself to change, it’s going to happen and it means I have to change; one small step at a time.

I did forget the soy sauce though.

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