I found this song in my mail box the other day.
I have a cassette tape of Tracy Chapman under my dresser and kept meaning to get a CD copy so I could listen again. Usually if I need a “Fast Car” fix I go to the David Usher version. Which I do have on CD, an I Pod is in the “I want” stage but CD’s will do till then. I have too many toys now as it is. I thought the Kane version was OK so I put in on my shuffle.
So tonight, after locking myself out of the apartment, but not the building, and sitting in the hallway waiting for the Landlord to come home, I went for a jog. A gym membership is looking really good. And this song popped up. I remember when the original song came out and I was in my room, probably writing or doing homework and hearing those words.
"And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone"
I felt like I didn’t fit in while in high school. In university I finally felt like there were people in the world like me; that I could be part of a group, one of our professors in the last year of university called us “The House” so yes we even had a name.
This year it’s come full circle, I have gotten back in touch in some shape or form with “the house” and other people from university are starting to trickle in. I have also made friends with people this year that I can never thank enough, they help me feel like I belong.
It’s amazing that you can hear a song hundreds of times without realizing the meaning, When I was young it was about getting out of the small town and making my dreams come true in the city. I guess I heard what I wanted to.
“You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere”
I wanted to “make it” and I wanted someone to “make it” together with. Still do, although what I consider "making it" is very different.
I just read the last lines…
“You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving”
That’s so not a part of my world; having people in my life that bring me down, telling people that they need to leave. The people I know I enjoy spending time with. I choose carefully and would rather be alone than hurt. I probably keep too much inside, afraid of hurting others. I’ve always been afraid of getting into situations I couldn’t get out of.
But you know what? Huh, there have been people I have told, in one way or another, to keep driving.
Today my friends arms feel nice wrapped 'round my shoulder.
Damn that's a good song.
Does this song hold any meaning for you? Is there a song whose meaning has evolved for you?