Monday, November 15, 2010


It’s just me in my apartment
My music
My words
My choices
Sometimes in my mind
Time jumps
Unfinished projects
Are easy to find

Books layer the shelves
It’s time for another
Yet I never have time to read
The coffee table
Is lined with music
I Dreamed a Dream
I Believe
Many the Miles

Journals and works in progress
Recipes for later
Sitting on your half
Of the couch
Let me explain
Since you’re visiting
I only use
Half the couch

For naps and tea

You’ve noticed
The shoes
They make me happy
In the summer
They all wait
At the door
The sneakers
The flip flops with dragon flies
The pretty pink cloth

My choices
So opposite
Of who I believe I am
But I wear them in defiance
Until I’m the person
I feel I should be

I have a special blanket
On the couch
I bought it
10 years ago
It was the kind
The hotel used
I felt so special
To have the same blanket
As a fancy hotel

My living room
Is designed
For the freedom
Of imagination
Without realizing
I slip into a world
Of day dreaming

Let me tell you
I tried so hard
To build a relationship
With myself
So I could
Let others in

No matter what I tried
Food and depression
Would shake up
All the logic
I tried to teach
Friends would push
Me in a safe direction
I would bounce right back

And now I let you
Wonder around
My house
My apartment
My ideas

Lets both go
To the day dream
We’re eating French toast;
Because it’s a day dream
We’re on a deck
Overlooking the
Eiffel Tower
I’ve chosen you
You’re here
Right now

We each have a mimosa
In our hands
We laugh and cheer
“Here’s to being spoiled”

And you say
Come back
There’s more
To being spoiled
Than shoes
And day dreams

And there may be
More miles
Of healing
And reality
Yet to come

Because of this poem, I took the overflow of books off the shoe rack and asked for a second bookshelf for my birthday. If it wasn’t my birthday I would have bought a bookshelf anyway. I then used the shoe rack for shoes- go figure right?

I am now taking extra time on the weekend to organize for the week, even if it means missing out on some play time. Although Mama Duncan did organize the office side of my couch for me.

Last but not least there is the ever present vow to see the reality of the moment rather than slip off in a day dream; unless I can turn it into writing. Tink and the secret keeper will probably be the ones to get updates on the day dreams, trust me I’m in good hands.

the twins