Friday, September 24, 2010

Whatever from Wherever

While I played the piano the spirits of whatever from wherever circled around me; I felt rich and that I wasn’t alone. Since I’ve started banging on the keys and trying to sing, I’ve heard myself singing on my free time, not just putting on music and listening to it, but singing along with it. Walking around the house and humming a tune. Paying more attention to the words the notes which, seeing as I have self diagnosed myself as tone deaf, is a little difficult. It is however, more beautiful and intricate then say two weeks ago.

I say spirits because many years ago, more then 10, my friend and I went to see a concert in a little church on the edge of town. I felt grown up, independent, and sat at the edge of my seat. After a few songs I felt this amazing feeling, like the souls of everyone in the church were being lifted and allowed to dance around each other. It was an amazing feeling. Today I felt surrounded by good things while I played and sang.

Note to self; find appropriate words for what you believe is spiritually.

Today was my first day of vacation. Spent it listening to Josh Groban and hearing how I messed up at work the day before. I guess I sent “someone” the wrong e-mail. “Someone” wasn’t very impressed. So between recovering from the night out, at the start of the week, and the promise of having a vacation at the end of the week, if my new job does start on the 4th, I will have left quite a mark on my last days on the e-mail team. Although we joked about it, it wasn’t my intention.

There are no tasks that are “do this by such and such a time,” although by Sunday (I need a few days) there will be a list of things to do. Talk to the bank, get pants hemmed (no this is not something I can do on my own) and have some adventures, really clean and organize the apartment, oh and of course read write and watch movies.

Living alone often leads me to day dreams, of what the future will bring, falling in love, getting a new job, having a great achievement. Today was the third time I stopped the day dream and actually wrote it as a story. I’m lost when I do it, don’t know how to make it a story, it just becomes a list of actions and speech. But writing it down makes it real in a way it would never be if it stayed in my mind and I can move on. And If I want to slip back into that fantasy, I can make a second draft.

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