Thursday, August 26, 2010
What I didn’t realize is that coming closer to being content with me would bring up a bunch of insecurities. I’m feeling good 90% of the time. Positive, content with my decisions where I am, but all it takes is a weird glance, something I don’t understand, someone to say the wrong thing and I’m back in Elementary school, insecure, sure people are laughing about me and doing the best to stay away from me.
I know It’s a part of me getting stronger, because a year ago, even a few months ago, it would be something that I would feel all day. Just that now when it hits there’s such a dive from being happy to this low. It doesn’t stay very long, and I’ve been trying to talk to people about it, giving it less power.
It’s weird because I base a lot of my actions on feeling out a situation; following my intuition, and picking up on vibes. So all of a sudden, when my chest feels like it’s being tightened by a sharp piece of thread, and everything turns dark inside, I wonder if my intuition is right, or if it’s just my body playing tricks on me.
I know I’m in a good place, and I know I’m lucky to have the opportunities that I do, and I know I’m a little scared (and excited) about the changes happening in my life, I just need to understand this emotion and set it free.