Last week, I wrote to my sister and asked “guess who just drove by my apartment while I was waiting for a cab?”She asked: “Why were you waiting for a cab?” She asked because she, and the rest of the family, had dropped me off before they went to do some errands. If I had asked them they probably would have taken me to Wal-Mart- where I was heading. I thought I broke my MP3 player (which I’m listening to right now) and I was looking for a highly recommended I Pod shuffle. I can’t get the shuffle to work with the speakers yet.
For me, I had to go there by myself. It didn’t matter that I could have gotten a drive or that I could have had company. I needed to look at the little boxes on my own. I needed to search the shelves for a copy of Atonement (which I didn’t find), and any other movies that may have caught my interest. I needed to look at the cameras and all the shelves. Once the little pink I pod was mine, I needed to look through the cloths and explore Staples across the street (It’s not a real staples, just a “Baby Staples”). It wasn’t about going in there and getting the I Pod and getting out. It was about going there are breathing and being me.
This weekend, because of the changes at work, I worked overtime yesterday. I learned (because I don’t do overtime) that with the hours I work, in order to do an hour overtime, I would have to be there 1 1/2 hours because it’s mandatory to have a second lunch (like the hobbit, 11sies and second breakfast and such). So I was at work longer than what I ever wanted to be and was beyond tired when I came home last night.
And today, to recover, I didn’t call my best friend and say let’s go get groceries and talk. I needed to be by myself to recover. I did write my friends and we talked about what’s going on and we made each other laugh, but it was distant. I needed to be alone, watch some downloaded TV, listen to music, get a cab and get some groceries and watch The Young Victoria. About an hour ago I started to feel normal.
I’m a self person, that’s who I am. It’s something to think about.