Friday, April 30, 2010

Chocolate Brownies

The weight of everything in the world today has made me sad, the vampire diaries look at depression bought back all the memories of having to leave the city behind and move home with my parents. Stefan's locked little room in the basement reminded me of being in the back room, hidden and far away from the world I was trying to make it in. What if I hurt you, what if I hurt myself, what if I make a mess of the world around me?

At the same time in Atonement I reached the retreat of the allies in France when German airplanes were flying over the roads of people; civilians and army, killing them.

Living on my own and secluded from the rest of the world, which I have needed to be (until now I guess) is hurting as well, but it’s difficult to step out of the shadows after being so closed. There are so many questions, so many new paths.

And then I baked some chocolate brownies and read some other peoples blogs and watched the vlog brothers and found out they were writers too and (maybe this is the chocolate and sugar talking) I realized I had to keep going. Keep looking up, keep writing, keep moving my feet; stepping out in the world and take breaks when I need to. And if I’m craving chocolate that bad not to wait ‘till the evening to give into the cravings.

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