Friday, March 19, 2010

Looking to the Past to See the Future

When AOL was winding down at the call centre, I hated it; I was so unhappy with the program. They were pushing a call time that I couldn’t attain, I didn’t understand what was going on until a week before they left, I was getting great monitor scores, but the people who were calling in were giving me bad reviews. When I asked: “What can I do better?” I was simply told: “I don’t know.” At one point they stopped routing calls to me and I would go an eight hour shift with two or three calls. Thankfully, we were allowed to read books at that time, so I was able to amuse myself during a shift. I had to actually go to a supervisor and ask that they give me more calls.

An email passed around that told of a new program coming to the call centre and anyone interested should send a reply. I practically sent a cover letter. I didn’t want to sound like I was begging, but I asked to be one of the few that were being moved. In the weeks that followed people were saying their good-byes and soon there was a training class and I checked my e-mails again. I couldn’t figure out how they forgot me.

Even through all my athiestness I found myself close to tears one night in the bathroom saying “God, you know I hate this program why didn’t you move me?” Soon, though it seemed like forever, AOL was phased out and I was the last of the last to go. We were sitting there in the last days and my friend said “What if this new program is worse than AOL?” My body did things when she said that that I didn’t know it could do, my insides moved around, my heart beat faster, hands got sweaty, and I got scared and depressed and wanted to run away, all in one moment.

PCF followed, and although it was tough in the beginning I did well. I was part of the team for at least six months when my name was pulled and I was moved, temporarily, to the program I wanted so much to be a part of during AOL. No problem, I thought. I can do this.

I did the training program and was soon set in the middle of people I couldn’t connect with, knowing that I would only be there a few months, working with computer programs that were dated, not user friendly and I didn’t like the program as much as PCF. I’m told that if you’re put there and know you’re going to stay a while, you fit in better. But I was so relieved the day they moved us back to PCF.

So even though at the end of AOL I was angry and confused, I ended up where I was supposed to be, I like the people and I’m part of the e-mail team with PCF.

Today, change seems like something I’d be ready for. I would like to know more excel so I could move forward at the call centre, I would like to take some of the week long writing courses that I read about from the WFNS, and moving back to the city (which is at least 2 or 3 blogs on its own) is always being considered. I know whatever I decide on will take a lot of work, and that things will happen when they’re supposed to. I know that some of the future may be difficult and just because it’s right, doesn’t mean I’ll like it or understand it, but it will be leading to something good. I just need to make some decisions and know that the outcomes will lead to good.

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